"Natural birth protects baby's consciousness and helps retain the divinity of the newborn. The universe celebrates the conscious newborn."
Sacred Birthing Insight

Placenta Stories & Lotus Birth Tales: Kauai’s Little Miracle

I had found a special tree to plant on my big naked lawn, a 12 foot Kauai Camphor tree that smelled wonderful, with beautiful bright shiny leaves and white bark, and who would someday grow to have a huge spreading crown, almost as big as a Banyan tree. Knowing I bought this tree, a mother asked me if her daughter’s placenta, frozen for over 4 years, could be buried under this tree, as they did not feel that it belonged at their rented home. So we planned to plant them both at the Monday afternoon meditation. When 23 people showed up instead of 6 or 8, it emphasized how very important this ancient ritual is.

The placenta belonged to a four year old, a fiery redhead who often threw angry tantrums and would cry for unknown reasons. Naps were nonexistent and sleep was constantly disturbed. She would strike out and nobody could figure out what she needed. Both parents were at their wits end, knowing how tormented she was and not knowing how to help.

The family had prepared baskets of different colored flower petals for their placenta celebration, pink, red and white from roses, and yellow and orange from marigolds. The hole was dug, the placenta laid down, the tree placed on top and the soil packed around it. One parent spoke about her birth and one about how happy they were to finally place the placenta in the Earth. The little redhead sprinkled petals decorating the base of the tree, and everyone else added more handfuls of color. As we backed away from the tree, a mighty energy let us know we had done something important. Something had been accomplished but we didn’t know what.

The next meditations brought reports that this little girl had started sleeping through the night:  before this, she had slept through the night only one time in over four years. Planting her placenta had somehow anchored her  enough to let her rest. And, in the next 9 months, what had created such anger, also eased and she seemed much more at peace.

I felt it was so appropriate for this little one’s placenta to be beneath a Camphor Tree:  Camphor is the substance used to burn away negativity in Pujas. This tree seemed to be her homeopathic similar – Like cures Like. And it worked.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 9)

Dec 10

I was led to connect with Pachamama, but instead of heading to the jungle in the East, I was led toward Mindo in the north west. So I thought OK, the clinic must be about the local people there. Then, I went to the Butterfly House, a cool tourist attraction, a beautiful place in a few weeks when construction is done that houses many kinds of butterflies in all stages of development. Very cool to learn about them. Beautiful and awesome in their sensitivity – they responded to my kalimba playing and within minutes, settled down and alighted on the flowers. Anyway, Rosie is the owner and a new friend. She sat with me and filled me in on the ways of Mindo living. Once people hear that I am going to live here, they immediately open up and the welcome is wonderful.

So I found out that the local people will not populate the Birthing Sanctuary. They are given free care at the hospital 15 miles from here. Rosie said they have been so spoiled by so many foundations coming in here to bring their specialty that they are given everything, Catholic education, medical care, Christmas gifts, …… so she said, don’t count on them unless you offer your services free: They don’t need anything other than the clothes on them, so they don’t work. They are not interested in becoming part of any work force – there is no motivation. (Hawaii 50 years ago.) – Until they buy a truck. Then they become drivers so they can make their truck payments. “So I hope I did not pop your bubble.” she said. I told her it just moved me back into my true purpose – A Birthing Sanctuary, not a birthing clinic.

Dec 11

I meet an older woman named Judy, who was an ESL teacher for years and we go to see her home that is a beauty in the back of a very moist ravine. She drew it on a napkin and ta-daa! She said she would give me the plans. I’m thinking, why did this just happen? and I sense that I will be building. She is a trip, and a chocoholic, and she knows where this special brownie place is, so we will be seeing each other again!

I meet the town OB, whose name I can’t remember. This OB is a woman of great heart who is here for a year, offering prenatal care. (Every doctor finishes school as a family practice doc, and then has a mandatory year in a rural place to give back to the country. Then they can specialize in their desired field.) Sara, a beautiful woman in her mid thirties, works next door at the Clinica del Salude, health clinic, and started her year in July. We have not spoken yet as I have to know what’s going on in me first. Our hearts are pulling us together though and we both feel it. What a meeting it will be when it happens. It feels to me like we will be working together.

December 12, 2009

Today the gringos who are all staying in this hostel go on a field trip. It’s pouring rain and we go up to the house that Karen and Gary are building. It’s going to be really beautiful. They are bird watchers and the house is built for that. (Did I say that Mindo is the bird watching capital of the world? With 1900 species!) Without children, their house will be left to Mindo as a bird sanctuary. This house in Hawaii would cost $8-900,000, and he said it should come out to costing $80,000. We then go down the hill to their neighbors who are camping out, as I did when I was their age, while planning and building their house. He makes jewelry and she is a full time doula, the real thing too! (She started 10 years ago but still had another job till 2 years ago.) Every question I ask, she answers with the same words I would say! She works with moms (and dads!) starting at 5 months until the birth. She said the doctors love her and hate her because they know that the women she works with will use no drugs nor have epidurals. And because it is she who is there, the doc knows they can come in at the last minute. She teaches that the drugs are not good for the baby and wake the parents up to this. What a meeting! They are working to move to Mindo instead of staying here for 3 days a week and in Quito for 4. She has an incredible heart and I look forward to knowing them.

Then we went to a bird watching restaurant in Los Bancos, with a spectacular view of a valley with a river at the bottom. Truly there were fifty hummingbirds whirling all around the feeders and ten kinds of Tanengers eating bananas. We topped off this rainy day with a gooey homemade brownie, made with homemade chocolate. Joe showed us every step of chocolate making and served this brownie that was better than anyone’s mom could make! And there were such tastes in this brownie, several different tastes that he said were from the individual beans. Wow, such a different experience of choc ko la te. (We called Judy to join us.)

Dec 13

I didn’t sleep last night after midnight when a neighbor came home making a lot of noise. What am I doing here???? Going out in a car around Mindo, and seeing Los Bancos yesterday makes it really obvious that this is such a third world country. Really nothing but shacks along the road, until you get to two big houses then shacks again. And I’m doing what? Why did I choose this place, I am asked by others continually. My small self, has not, my higher Guidance has. I have not even seen enough of the country to choose this place, except that it’s not Quito, the megamaxiopolis. Yet I keep feeling that this is exactly right. So whenever I get to the mountain of doubts from seeing this “reality” in front of my eyes, I go over all the reasons that I have discovered that make it right. So what are the reasons to go ahead?

Mother Nature is pristine. Major reason.

I understand that building here is so much cheaper, and this allows me to see that a Birth Sanctuary can finally be built exactly as is my vision. Major reason.

Knowing that I can simply build what I want and not have someone from building, permitting, or whatever, say no. Major reason.

Hearing that the land has been prepared for birthing, that it has what is needed. Major reason.

Mindo, (pronounced ‘Meendo’,) is just about to take off and become an alternative haven for the country. It attracts many people from Quito on the weekends and in the summer. Global tourists all the time – which is how we had a gringo field trip. Right now it needs everything. Anyone’s passion is welcomed, (which is how there is a chocolate factory.) There is little infrastructure aside from the roads and there’s an amazing system of busses so cheap transportation is possible all over the country. This too is major. Hopefully more people will stay, bringing their gifts.

It hit me just two days ago that I am to start with raw land. Wow! What a shift, after thinking that I could start with a B&B and have part of it done. That is so huge when I am alone and not with a group, or at least somebody who is as committed as I am to this vision. It’s probably why I am so overwhelmed. So how do i do this????? But as soon as I get it, the next pieces come through

This morning I hear the question, “Why do you think that you are so utterly alone here on the physical plane?” The answer is, so that I can see my level of creation. It’s all my creation, the good and the not so good. So how am I going to do it? Go home? Look in another place, only to end up here in Mindo again if it truly is the place where this is to be? I’ve been shown these two wonderful women, the doula and the OB. That is stunning Support of Nature that should help me to say, “OK! I’m going to build the Birthing Sanctuary right here and right now.” But I see how few services are here, how there is no infrastructure, how the needs are so different than I thought. So what will I place my attention on? The overwhelming reality that IS? Or, what I know can be within a year?

Everybody who speaks English is a support system for me. They are all blown away that I am here to do this and each has offered their help. Susan, Rosie, Karen and Gary, Judy and Renee, the man I met yesterday at the restaurant. Support everywhere I look, and each offering help with building to make it seamless, instead of the karmic experience they each had. The nature support is there for building, towards becoming a resident, toward helping me. I better look for land. I guess I’m building.

Dec 21

My, how time warps for the days have flown, yet it’s only been weeks since I came – Dec 4!! But on the inner planes it’s been 3 months since I’ve arrived since night time is as productive as daytime. After a very hard 3 days where the waves of culture shock kept rolling through, everything has been rearranged and I understand / remember where I am being led. I can’t possibly share the journey that I was taken on, because there were so many steps to it. And un-ravelings. But this morning after the noisiest night possible, the dawn breaks and clarity arises to make sense of all the pieces I have been given through time about the Birthing Sanctuary.

The purpose of the Sacred Birthing Sanctuary is
to renew the wisdom of the indigenous cultures of the world.
Remembering and reinstating birth in the ways of Natural Law
protects babies,
their higher states of consciousness, their ability to be present,
& their innate self-love.
These babies know they are born to hold and renew their culture’s ancient ways, the ways in alignment with their Divine blueprint, for this is their culture’s unique footprint on the face of this Earth that holds their purpose, their offering to Great Spirit.

I saw it: The buildings, the school, the birthing temple, the community, the gardens and orchards, the animals, the pristine place in nature with clean waters running by and through it. I saw the first family who came to cook and build. I saw the elders choose and groom the young parents who would carry the baby to ressurect the ways of their people. I saw the parents who came in their indigenous clothes, carrying the pride of their tribal ways. I saw them come with their lovers and their mothers and sisters. I saw us teach them the ways we’ve learned to take back to their people in their land. I saw how it would work.

I saw the people involved as the holder of this Sanctuary, and how it came into being. With my Christmas plans already erased, I am on to the next part of this adventure: finding the players of this incredible Sacred container. This is why we have all worked so hard! Thank you each of you. Thank you and Merry Merry Christmas. May all blessings pour over you all. May the love and light from this work that we are honored to do together, be as a balm poured over you in all the ways that you need. May we each know the importance of the piece that we play so that together Sacred Birthing flourishes to accomplish the task that was set for it.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 7)

September 27, 2009

It’s really a chance to pray, making a medicine wheel.   I ask what the intention is for this wheel and find that it is to raise the vibration of the camping area so that this area becomes a camp for those who seek to be more conscious, and each summer there are many attracted with a higher purpose of conscious refinement. I call out to the Directions for the size and form this wheel is to hold.   I call out to each stone, “Who is to be placed next?”  I ask where each needs to go to support this intension.  It is a process that is not about speed.   After 5 hours I am only 1/3 done and am whooped.   These stones are heavy.  Eight of them are much too heavy for me.   Tomorrow I’ll complete it.   I take a swim at placenta rock in this 90 degree heat.   What a good name for this boulder!

The Medicine Wheel is to raise the vibration of the campground.

September 28, 2009

Five more hours and lots more prayer takes me through the many layers of intension for this wheel.  Forgiveness of self for all humanity is the majority prayer as the outer circle and the inner circle is formed.  I finish not today but in the third day’s morning sun.  12 hours of deep prayer for humanity’s awakening created this rock formation that will silently sit in the riverbed till the next snowmelt.

On the fourth day, the camp area erupts.   Young people screaming to each other, not talking, not yelling in fun, but screaming their conversations.   I don’t understand.  They are throwing rocks, big rocks, down at the dam, smashing them down on others.  I haven’t seen this kind of behavior before.  Then a woman walked past me and said she had heard them screaming about “meth” and we both understood.   Later talking to David, he told me that a psychologist said that meth is something that supports the ego to be unleashed.  That’s just what was happening in the behavior that I saw.   It was scary to see the ego take over.

The next morning, two days after the medicine wheel was finished, I realize that I feel finished here after the wheel was done.  I look below on my morning walk to my meditation tree in the sun and see that the three stone dams that so nicely held the deep waters for the swimming hole have been destroyed.   All the rocks are strewn all over.    I hear, “When the vibration rises, chaos results in order for the change to occur.”   I think back on several situations and think of the truth in this.

September 29, 2009

The stunning house I was to rent high up the mountain was reclaimed by its owner.   I am sad that I will not be living at this place that birthed my book, Sacred Birthing, Birthing A New Humanity.  I realize that I must be heading the wrong direction.  Ok, where DO you want me?  Why am I here???  Show me so that I get it!

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Vibration, Orgasmic Birth & Newborn Consciousness

Birth is magnificent. With the high drama births so common today, we have lost sight of this magnificence, and as a culture have begun to fear birth. Though when allowed to progress in its own way and at its own pace, birth shows us how each baby needs to be born, and how each mom can claim her initiation. We have come to fear birth because we have lost our birth wisdom, the inner wisdom passed down from our mothers and grandmothers, our aunties and sisters. We no longer meet at the well, the kitchen, or the red tent to share the stories that once strengthened us.

It’s time to change this. Babies are asking for something more aligned with who they are. Many children being born are incarnating on Earth for the first time and come to inspire goodness. They have no karma and no wounding, and without these, they are born with great life force and health, but our birth practices introduce vibrational harm that results in severe health challenges. When they are born quickly, without time to interfere, they prove to be in the best of health.

Trauma at any age hurts or makes us scared, and is difficult to integrate. Trauma at birth makes a newborn constrict physically and emotionally. The nerves that have previously been fully open and receptive in the safety of the womb, now constrict and tighten, and fear is felt often for the first time. Emotionally, a baby shuts down and turns within. Baby’s body-consciousness declares: “This hurts,” and remains in a protected stance, trying to make sense of this feeling. Baby’s soul-consciousness makes its first earthly decision: “This is a hostile world.” All later decisions will support this first one and become the seed of a baby’s personality.

Midwives know that a baby’s personality is created by its birth. We see it all the time and watch as babies grow. Who a baby becomes, comes from mom, dad, and from baby’s own past lives. The journey through conception, gestation and the birth experience crystallizes and imprints what we are born to heal: time issues, gender and food issues, worthiness, our default emotion, relationship choices, turning toward nurturing or withdrawing. These and more influence a lifetime.

Everything is remembered about the circumstances of our birth whether it was spoken or thought: What was the doctor thinking about me? Were the nurses caring or too busy? Was mom conscious? Where was Dad? What were the emotions present? What was my first nourishment like? How will this life challenge me? Which siblings support me? Why did I choose these parents? What is my soul-design? It is all remembered in the recesses of our heart. Without trauma, a newborn knows it. With trauma, it will be remembered as and when the trauma heals.

Our birth memories are our road map to the healing of our lifetime. As a birth therapist, I found that few adults believe they can remember their birth experience, yet we all can. It is written within every cell of our being. Our body remembers and with a little help, what has been subconscious can be made conscious to bring about great healing. Not only can we heal, but remembering our birth makes us absolutely aware that all babies remember and are conscious. Since babies are conscious at birth, they remember how they are treated. Our treatment shows them how precious and worthy they are. How do we wish to welcome them? Sacredly. Softly. As a celebration. With our greatest presence and inner stillness. With love.

Birth isn’t created in the hours of labor but with every feeling and action both parents have, from their very first inkling of a baby, right up to its birth. This ‘field of birth’ then becomes the energetic force field of pregnancy that carries a mom into her birth. Create it with trust, and do your very best for your baby. Create it with fear, being too busy throughout pregnancy, or thinking, “this (fast food, drink, joint, cigarette…) won’t matter,” results in the drama so common in modern birth, because your gut emotions about your upcoming birth create a vibration. This vibration will always attract a birth to match. Can you purge your fears and create inner peace and a joyful anticipation about your birth? Can you and your partner practice harmony to offer your baby your very, very best?

Birth is an enormous passage for all mothers, but as a midwife, I see that the moms who worry through pregnancy have more pain, and those who are happy and assured end up with a beautiful home birth. In the past, we have seen this as a woman’s empowerment, but what if vibration is the key to what determines a birth? What if it also determines the pain or ease in which you give birth?

Vibration is easy to understand when you imagine a line graph. Imagine one of emotional feelings ascending in vibration from the lowest to the highest: hopelessness, panic, fear, anxiety, insecurity, unsure, surrender, ease, contentment, positive intent, well-being, appreciation, gratitude, joy, bliss, love and ecstasy. Our mental patterns are also vibrations: resigned to the worst, self-judgment, dread, chaos, constriction, struggle, negativity, ‘trauma/drama’, restlessness, surrender, tolerance, hope, acceptance, openness, peace, trust competence, creative, empowered, coherent. Reread these and feel each one, and you will see what your baby would be steeping in if this were your predominant feeling or thought in pregnancy. Our self-talk reflects where we are at any given time.

Vibration is an exceptional tool for birth. Certain biological states only exist at certain vibrations. Pain is a biological state that does not exist at a high vibration. So, if a mom spends her pregnancy at a happy high vibration, she is lots closer to the higher vibration where there is no pain. More and more births are being created in ecstasy, yet most women keep this to themselves as they are not believed when they share their stories. Orgasmic/ecstatic births are happening and are a product of a high vibration. Your vibration through pregnancy is your pathway to an ecstatic birth.

Another aspect of orgasmic birth is that two different vibrations cannot exist at the same time and space, so when feeling the vibration of joy, there is no room for the vibration of doubt, fear, anger, etc. Staying where it feels good trains us in using vibration. This is our spiritual practice on our way toward sacred conception and throughout pregnancy.

A high vibration also protects the consciousness of your baby. With this protected radiance, a baby retains her innate sense of self-love. This is not something she will have to work to regain, as we have in our forties and fifties. It is hers from birth. A high vibration retains the multi-dimensional abilities (healing, telepathy, stimulating creativity…) that a baby brings to share. These babies are not choosing to be born at the low vibration of self-judgment and karma, but at the other end of the spectrum, the vibration of coherence, trust and love.

The babies being born now are a higher consciousness/higher vibration and are extremely sensitive and cannot tolerate the birth practices that do not take vibration into consideration. What are we doing at birth to reduce vibration? Anything that results in baby or mom feeling fear or pain. We are scaring mothers, and bringing pain and fear to the unborn by using things like fetal heart monitors; ultrasound/sonogram, internal monitors. At birth, we use forceps and vacuum extractions, instead of giving mom more time, or getting her to squat; we cut the cord before breathing is well established, making baby fear death at the moment of birth; we separate baby from mother and father; we give shots and stab heels; we are unconscious in our care of the newborn; and we circumcise. Because of today’s version of birth, trauma and its repercussions are being seen in generations of children, and these traumatized children are called ‘normal’ because little else has been seen in medical birth.

The most significant harm comes however, from the drugs that are used at the time of birth. Picture this: As mother is learning to work with labor and opening to the ever-increasing flow of Divine energy moving thru her body, the vibration of mother’s body is rising. The baby’s body within mother also experiences this. As labor progresses, mother incorporates greater amounts of this refined energy and her vibration is rising more quickly. As it gets most intense, this energy prepares baby’s body to mesh with its soul at this highest vibration. Body and soul mesh most coherently like a hand in a well-fitting glove. Baby is securely rooted into its body, with a fully functioning, pristine nervous system. When this happens at birth, baby is at ease in her body, is involved in life surrounding her, and thrives from the very beginning.

When a pain medication is given, the vibration of mother and therefore baby’s body, suddenly plummet in response, yet the vibration of the baby’s soul remains high and constant. The impact of an epidural causes a great energetic discrepancy between baby’s body and soul, previously aligned before medication was given. The soul is not able to come fully into the body because the nervous system shuts down from the depressing effect of drugs on the vibration of baby’s body. The soul energy previously aligned to the body is now, no longer in sync. They are out of phase. Baby’s most delicate levels of senses and multidimensional abilities are eliminated.

This pulsation is cumulative however, so the young baby may not be noticeably affected at first. Eventually, the growing child will perceive these as jolts of energy: she will act out this inner experience of too much discordant energy, she is not able to sit still and is hypersensitive to stimulus. This is an energetic description of a child with Attention Deficit Disorder. A body was not designed to carry discordant energy. America’s epidemic of A.D.D. has been caused by this vibrational discrepancy created by the epidurals administered to mothers at birth. Plus, when a mother is given an epidural, she gives away her initiation because she gives credit to the epidural. She has not discovered her new inner stance of “I did it! And if I can do that, then I can do anything!” Parents need to be advised of the toxic and vibrational risks of epidurals and no one is speaking. If the truth were told, all parents would protect their babies and find harmless options.

When we respect the nature of birth, we are open to learn from it, we wonder, we listen and await the answers within. With an attitude of trust, we move forward one step at a time. Parents are taking their power back in birth, no longer enduring what is being offered as modern birth. Instead, they are creating what feels best to their hearts. This is a powerful force, and it is self inspired for the good of baby, mama, her lover, the family and the transformation of Birth itself. In an atmosphere of love and trust, un-medicated natural birth protects the vibration of a newborn. It is where the mother finds Ecstasy, and as this occurs, birth returns to the perfection that nature intended all along.

By sacredly moving into birth, parents reconnect with who they are, and give birth to their babies in a way that is safe, sacred, at a high vibration and most meaningful to them. Birth is then the highest alignment of body, soul and planetary energies to support each baby’s full potential. And then, the full radiance each baby holds is a blessing to the Earth.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 6)

September 22, 2009

(Happy birthday dad.)

I am being taught to journey through time, space and dimensions.   What good tools I have developed to be ready for this – past life therapy, birth therapy and midwifery.  Ultimately, I am to journey for souls in birth, the birth itself, and death.  I am to go into the future/past to see information and bring back what is to be.  I am to un-wrinkle the karma in mom, or release the reason for pain…   How?

“I am your guide.  There are many degrees of openness and journeying takes different acuities.  I am the Spirit of the Journey that offers this service for your love.   I am more active in the dark.   Use me when you have questions.  Use me when you want depth.  Use me as your best friend for life.   Your love has opened you to me as your helper.”

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September 25. 2009

Dream:

We are reconstructing Telos (the 5th Dimensional city inside Mt Shasta) in our studio.   It is beautiful, perfect and meaningful in every degree, color, alignment.  It’s made of crystals and stones in perfect geometries.  Temples are in exact placement to support love in families and all individuals.   Nature grows in the exact places and ways to support human development.   There is so much excitement in this discovery.   Terri N is working on with us too.  One is invited into this project when it is time.  The city is like the body in design.  Perfection.  Divine.   One roof most intrigues me.  It is made of Crisophase, beautiful, translucent, green.  Inner authority is the most noticeable ingredient of each person in the project.   By working on the “model,” it changes our bodies.  Such precision, such delicious sweetness, such relevancy.  It all matters.  It’s all beautiful.   It’s all a temple.  It’s all sacred.   It all reflects love.   It’s rounded and made of materials we don’t know how to build with: gemstones and minerals.  They are not encased, the whole building is made from them.  There is no structure used to build it into form.  It is built of consciousness.   There are waterways the moment you need refreshment, thirst, or a change of pace.   There is a red ribbon across the front. It is cut and I walk in. I’m in kindergarten again and it feels good.

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September 25, 2009

Seven pregnant mamas, two papas, and five apprentices came to an informal talk I was invited to speak at.  What a blast!   There were all kinds of births, and all were open to taking one more step to be more gentle for their baby.  It was a lovely evening in Mt Shasta at the Flying Lotus next to Berryvale.

The river near my campsite

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September 26, 2009

I met a woman who has held a vision, since 1988, of an incredible Healing Sanctuary given to her by St Germain!  (Check it out at: http://shastavortex.com/retreat.)   She has been here working on it since then making inroads in the zoning committee.  Everything that I felt was stumping me.  She gave me the homework to create EXACTLY what I want in a Birthing Sanctuary without any constricture (is that a word) except to stay under $25 million.  What a delicious assignment.  Do it exactly as you would like it to be!  It is getting clearer and more profound.

I have been camping two+ weeks at the river,and until now, it has been silent except for the wind through the Pines and the pure water’s gurgles.  Lots of reflection, loads of letting go.  The Earth is such a spectacular healer.   Thank you Nature.  Thank you Mother Earth.  Today I’m asked to make a medicine wheel in the dry riverbed where there are millions of rock-beings just sitting in the sun . In spring, this is all under water with the snowmelt, but now there is nothing but rocks of all sizes between the two rounded riverlets of icy cold water.   I am camping on the cliff overlooking this vesica pieces of flowing water.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 4)

My spirit loving, traveling gypsy of light, friend Celeste

September 12, 2009

Camping at Castle Lake.  I meet up with Celeste, a gypsy for years, roving to various places in the country and out with many other single older women who move by the call of spirit.   She answers some of the questions I have been sitting with regarding food and vibration- living on Light or becoming “White Fire,” as she calls it.   This is how she does her inner work:   she stops eating and lives on light, without even water.  Then, as she takes in food or water again, she feels that it introduces the duality of the world and so she sees whatever comes up as her work at this level of vibration… that’s her inner work.  I am especially interested in the idea that introducing water brings duality. She also said that if she is not drinking, she is warm.  It is water that seems to put out her “fire.”  Where are you now Celeste?

She hands me a fabulous book on birth trauma and the Reptilian brain!  (Don’t you love how life is orchestrated?) Feelings Matter, Keys To The Unexplored Self, by Ceanne DeRohan 2007.   This is the basis for all we do in Sacred Birthing and why we do it.  The text is redundant, but she is making a string of points to understand the workings of the newborn brain and how important it is to fulfill the needs of a newborn in those first hours.   A must read for all of us.  We should carry it in the Birth Store.

Birth trauma is the imprinted road map to healing for this life, and it is what we must unwind before death.  We connect to Divine Mind and discover Self Love when all is healed or; in the absence of trauma, we are Divine Mind and Self Love. What do we choose for our babies? What do we choose for our next lifetime?

Lake Crystal

Our ignorance of newborn trauma has created 3 generations ruled by their reptilian brains – competitive, aggressive and manipulative.   It makes me want to cry.  What can I do?   For ourselves, we ask for Limbic renewal – a baseline of calm.   For our babies, we explain and remind the parents about the importance of the fulfillment of all needs, and protect the space for parents to fulfill them.

There is an amazing part on Circumcision and how it debases the original harm at birth.  It is crucial to men, far more than I even realized.   Without circumcision, ease and trust is found in all relationships or; with it circumcision comes feelings of betrayal, suspicion, defensiveness or outright hostility/violence.   Our babies’ birthright of trust is ruined.  Circumcision is not about what our baby’s penis looks like.   It’s about protecting our baby boys and allowing and supporting the trust and kindness inherently in men.  How can we have sacred sexuality and sacred conception when we circumcise our baby boys?  Women, that means us!  We are the ones to protect.   Don’t back down.  Make sure your partner understands this emotional result.   Help him reclaim who he rightfully is by re-experiencing his circumcision.  Who can lead this for the good of all men?   Jason?  Nick?

The closer circumcision is done to the time of birth, the deeper the imprint.  The book illustrates that man has three ways of taking this trauma into the baby body: expressing it through sadness and withdrawal, through fear and defensiveness or through anger and lashing out.   These three things are a good illustration of the state of men in America.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 3)

September 4, 2009

At 2pm I went to have an appointment with Nicky. I was to journey (in the shamanic sense) to receive how I would use the ankh, and she was to scribe for the session. Thoth had been with me all morning; and as we sat in the gazebo of her luscious garden, Cobra came in as well. Cobra me the same pathway of energies that I had witnessed in the days before and much more. I was blown away to hear what I had seen, to learn more in depth, and recieve acknowledgement that what was coming through me was spot on. Oh why do we need acknowledgement so?

September 6, 2009

David, my birth partner who conceived Sacred Birthing with me and took it on the road as Sacred Birthing Seminars, calls me in Eugene and said he may not be going to climb the sacred Shiva mountain in Nepal because of intense headaches that he has to stop denying. Something is going on. He didn’t know what, and I may not be able to stay at his house for the 2 ½ months while he was gone. I want to camp and lie on the earth to let go, but other than a renewal, am not sure why else I am going to Mt Shasta. Suddenly the questions come, “Is he on this deathing path? Is he to be included too?” It’s difficult to think that this man, such a dear beloved of mine, is to transition. I have lots of work to do to be able to come to grips with this one. There’s lots of love and lots of history here. Can I be present? Is this really what is calling me here?

A Snowless Mt. Shasta

September 11, 2009

From Eugene to Mt Shasta. Its amazing to just drive distances after living on an island for 11 years. The mountain is as it has never been – without snow on it. Even in summer there is still snow, but not this and last year. What a shock. Global warming. I t does not seem right at all. It is not right at all, but that’s what is.

I drive up to my favorite place, Castle Lake, and camp for the first night right on the earth with the Milky Way stretched out, reflecting over the water. Wow.

David had a very infected tooth pulled out and we are hoping the infection has caused the headaches and that all will subside. He said that death has been dancing in the trees outside, not menacing, just there.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 2)

Ani & Steve at Ani’s birthday party

My dearest friend, Ani, picked me up from the train station in Eugene. She took me to sit with a friend whose father was dying. Oh my goodness. I went right in to introduce myself and let him hear my voice. Looking at him, I saw colors I didn’t expect in unusual places: lots of dark yellow around the heart with a tiny pink core of lace around the edges of the heart, blue in his gut and red-brown in his head area. “Was he an angry man?” I asked. Yes. I asked to release his worldly burden from his shoulders and as those were released, life’s experiences were drawn into his heart and his heart let go of the sorrow-full yellow and the pink glowed brighter and puffier. There was a black writhing energy showing itself coming out of the gut. I teased it out and offered it as energy to the Earth Mother. As his daughter came in the room, a light shot out of her 3rd chakra to his 3rd chakra and I understood that her energy was holding him here and pulling on him. No wonder she was exhausted. This happened every time she came in and it seemed to me that it was causing him to stay embodied longer than needed. She constantly called to him to acknowledge that she was there by squeezing her hand, which he did, and then to indicate if he was in pain by another squeeze… Which he never did. I suggested she sit with him 2 full hours and tell him everything she could think of. She let out the love when she was with him; but she was also full the anger and pain of growing up with him. She let that out with us.

The next morning, much had shifted. He was peacefully in his deathing process. There was no more squeezing. His colors were swirling. An energy came into his crown and went to his throat and swirled like a whirlpool there. From the throat, the energy moved and then made a figure eight in his 2nd chakra. When it left there, it went to his kidneys moving in circles around each one. Then everything stopped. I felt that was all for now. The daughter was so full of her own pain that she saw pain on the same face that I saw total peace. She was insistent that morphine and tranquilizers be given to him each night. So, who was it for?

That night Ani and I went to Nicky Scully’s once a month open house. Nicky leads trips to Egypt and writes books on it too. Who better to ask about the ankh? As I pick it up, I hear, “Ask her to activate it.” So she does, then rubs a beautiful oil into it. I receive it back and she suggests we have a journey on Friday.

We go back to the friend and her dying father. We find him at that place in the deathing journey where you feel that it might be forever, yet you know it can’t be. I spoke to the daughter about how death creates our birth and how allowing him to die a conscious death without drugs would offer him a birth without drugs; but she was defensive and said that she was going to do what the hospice team said, drug him. Her daddy left his body Thursday evening at 7pm. What he showed me two days before would help many others. What she showed me was the answer to a question I had long held.

I understood C-sections better now. I felt this was a C-section death. Just like so many C-section births: this was a death that did not consider the “baby,” but more the caregiver’s needs. He did not need her pulling him back to comfort herself. He could have gone quite consciously had the caregiver not been in such fear, he did not need to wait for her schedule. Nor did he need the morphine. On one hand she was exhausted from the three weeks of constant care, but she did not attend to her own inner work, that would have freed him in a more conscious death, and therefore a clear and conscious birth. Oh, that we do our own work. Help us truly see who the one before us and not our own pain.

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Diary of a Spiritual Midwife (part 1)

It all started the 3rd week in August when I was at Tara Camp. Bonnie asked me what the vision of Sacred Birthing was. I described seeing a community of little round houses or pods where someone was waiting to be born or to die in each. She asked, “So you work in death too?” “No.” I said, “That has not opened up yet…” Well, that night came the download. I was to help people make a conscious choice to pass without the body needing to be decrepit, turning off the organs in a certain progression. I was shown there were many, many people who were in continual excruciating pain yet they could not let go and die. I could help that process happen so that the aura of a city would not hold such pain. This was necessary before Master Souls would be born here.

The morning before I left Kauai, I sat on the beach with old friends, Peggy and Joe. Peggy channels Sananda/Magdelen and Joe channels dirty jokes. This morning she was feeling a presence as we sat down on the beach. In came Thoth, who let her know that the ankh she was given more than five years ago was to be passed on to me. The ankh had been sitting in her glass living room table. It was carved from wood by a man under the guidance of Sai Ma, who told the man it was not his personal offering but was to go to Peggy on Kauai when it was completed. The ankh did not mean much to Peggy, other than as an Egyptian symbol of life, so she knew she would be it’s keeper until for it’s rightful owner appeared. The ankh did not mean much to me either; however, I knew something was cooking when I learned that the man who carved it was the same man who gave me herpes 11 years ago. I knew then, “This is my ankh and it is important,” for I had been consciously working to dis-create the dis-ease for the last year and a half.

Two hours before getting to the airport, a neighbor’s husband who had Parkinson’s Disease died. I walked in on her when still in her altered state and she told me about his death and how they had practiced for it the last 2 years so that he could leave his body through his crown. Hearing her story made it very real that my work had begun. I rendezvoused with Peggy and Joe to receive the ankh, and got on the red-eye to Seattle follwed by a train to Eugene to sleep it off.

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