rondar

"Trust upholds the field of birth and invites the help of our highest guidance."

Sacred Birthing Insight

Mother & Baby Soul Communions Through Hypnotherapy

Mother/Baby Soul Communions initially referred to working with mothers whose infants had physical, emotional or behavioral challenges but were too young to be worked with directly. Using the hypnotherapeutic model, I would help a mother go into a deep state of relaxation and expanded consciousness and through her, call in a connection with her infant’s spirit and inner wisdom.

Through the study of the life and work of a South African wise woman by the name of Sobonfu Some’, I received the first role model I had ever come across reflecting the work I was doing. She took me a step further by telling how in her village, a similar process to what I was doing was used consistently with every pregnant woman for accessing the spirit of her unborn baby. The purpose for this was to ask questions like, “who are you? why are you coming to us now? what is your life purpose? how can we support you in fulfilling that purpose?” and so on. Reading Some’s beautiful books, I realized the scope of this work was much bigger than I had realized.

The stories below reflect the wonder yet naturalness of this capacity we have to access the spirit of our children; whether born, in utero, or before conception; whether aborted or in other ways deceased and so on. I learned early on, that each experience in this work was individual and unique to every situation and that the essential key was to ask and receive permission from the spirit of the child we are endeavoring to make contact with.

My First Experience of Mother/Baby Communication

9 Month Old with Skin Rash

Early on in my years of teaching at the Oakland Center for Hypnotherapy Certification, I was teaching a class entitled, “Accessing the Inner Healer”. I lived in Berkeley at the time and had a next-door neighbor who had her one and only child at age 40. At nine months old, her son developed a rash all over his body. She came over one day and we discussed ideas about what might be causing the rash and how it might be alleviated. Her diet was very healthy so it seemed unlikely that the cause was her breast feeding. At a point in our conversation, I wondered if it would be possible to access the inner healer of a child by going through his mother. This was a new concept for me but I offered it to my friend. She is a subtle energy intuitive healer herself so she was open to checking it out.

We got together soon after this and began our session. I invited her to do her familiar foundational practices for doing deep inner work. She let me know she was having trouble grounding. I made mental note of that but continued to guide her into deeper levels of expanded consciousness. We called forth the spirit of her son. In her mind’s eye, she saw her son approaching looking very serious. He told her that we had to ask permission to do this work. I remember the profound feeling of humility and awe that came over me in that moment. We asked permission and after a serious pause, were told that we both needed to learn from this so permission was granted. In that instant, my friend went very deep within; making is quite clear what had inhibited her ability to ground earlier. When asked about the rash, her son told her it had nothing to do with diet or anything physically wrong but had to do with his grieving having left the spirit realm. He directed his mother to take him up in the Desolation Wilderness and lay him on a rock. Then she was to take him to the beach where the ocean meets the shore. Something in the context of these two energetic vortexes would help him to integrate into his body more efficiently.

My friend was not one to question what she had experienced or received from this communion with her son’s spirit. She followed the directives and when they were complete, the rash cleared up.

So began my own exploration into the potentials of Mother and Baby Soul Communions.

Overdue Mother with Previous Abortion Issues

A doula friend of mine called me in to work with a client of hers who was two weeks past due in birthing her baby. The woman was showing anxiety symptoms and my friend thought I might be able to help her.

I went to this woman’s house and we began to talk. She told me about the time a few years earlier when she was pregnant and living in, what she referred to as, a dangerous relationship. She knew she needed to run from the man she was with but she also knew that if she ran with his child, he would follow. So she decided to abort the baby. Now she was living within a healthy relationship and she very much wanted this baby. Yet, as her birthing time neared, her guilt came forward making her afraid that this baby would die at birth in punishment for what she had done in the past.

When I helped her to go deep within herself, we invited a connection with the baby soul she was currently carrying. When that connection was established, we learned from the baby that it was the very same soul that had been conceived before. The baby soul told the mother that S/he knew that the decision to abort in the past had been made in love and that now everything was perfect for the soul to come forth into form. The baby soul told the mother that it was excited to be with her and that all was well.

Tears of joy and relief were pouring down the mother’s face as this exchange was taking place. The force of her guilt and anxiety was the constriction in her body not allowing the labor to start. After the session, this mother’s labor came on within the next 24 hours; her baby born vital and beautiful.

Doula and Mother with Stillborn Baby

A doula Friend of mine called one day to tell me a very emotionally charged story. One of her dearest friends, who this doula was supporting in a home birth, gave birth to a stillborn baby. My Friend told me about the labor. She said that everything went really well: the baby’s vitals up to the labor were strong and clear and remained that way into and through labor. Even the birth was normal except for the fact that the baby was still and never revived after birth.

My doula friend was distraught with anguished questions about what had happened. Did someone do something wrong? What could have prevented this? How could this have happened with everything up to the end showing such vital life? She felt deep grief with the mother being her dear friend and such guilt having been in the birth support position.

I didn’t know whether it would work to connect with the unborn baby soul through the doula rather than the mother but offered to support her in the attempt. Once my friend was taken within to a relaxed and expanded level of consciousness, we invited a connection with the still born baby soul. A connection was made and though little was said, what was needed came through. My friend was told that no one had done anything wrong and that this happenstance was purposefully designed and was between the mother and the baby soul. Apparently this incident, as it played out, was to affect some opening within the mother. The baby soul also said that it would be coming again to this mother.

This communion brought my doula friend much healing and relief.

Pregnant Mother Seeking Insights into Behavior of Older Son

This was such a fascinating study with many layers and connections. A woman came to me in the latter stages of her 2nd pregnancy in hopes of finding some keys to the discord she felt with her 3 year old son. She worried about having another child come into the tension that was in the home.

When I took her into deep consciousness, she made easy contact with the spirit of her 3 year old and was told that he needed art supplies around him. He needed paints and an easel and other supplies. This medium would help him express and develop himself for easily and harmoniously.

This mother decided to check in with her unborn child whom she knew to be another boy. She was told that this child would need a lot of nature around him and that this would be key for him to connect with and develop his life purpose.

Then a most unexpected thing occurred. This woman’s deceased mother-in-law walked into her consciousness. The mother-in-law came to tell this woman to inform her husband that it was time that his mother’s ashes be let go of. He was to take them out on his surf board and dispose of them out in the ocean. His mother also said that she would be carrying away something for her older grandson that he did not need to carry any longer. She finished by saying that her daughter-in-law and the two grandsons should be on the shore watching as her son paddled her ashes out to sea.

Turning a Breech Positioned Baby

A woman who had taken my HypnoBirthing Classes came to me in the latter stages of her pregnancy to see about the possibility of turning her baby who was in the breech position. As we conversed, I learned that she had never wanted to have children and that it was her husband’s desire that had moved her into this pregnancy. I also learned she had experienced some sexual trauma when she was younger. Hearing all this, I had a pretty good idea what was detouring baby from proper positioning.

I helped her relax into a deep, expanded state of consciousness and we invited the spirit of her baby to commune with us. When that connection was granted, I watched as this young mother’s eyes filled with tears. She learned that this baby was coming in to teach her about love and that he was very excited to be with her. When the heart opens, the tears of healing and love tend to flow and clear the way. This mother fully opened to the wonder and blessing of this soul coming to her.

We described to the baby about the proper position for an easier birth for baby and mother. I doubt whether that was a necessary step in the process but regardless, Baby turned into the proper vertex position within the following 36 hours.

Pain & Childbirth

Words from Earth Mother

“Birth was never meant to be in pain. To give birth was a gift of love. So much has been forgotten because feminine wisdom was destroyed each time it grew to be threatening. Fear grew where wisdom abated. It was in this frame of mind that you were told, ‘birth is painful, for you have sinned.’

Can you let this go now? Can you see the context of that era and know that it is complete? Can you recreate another powerful statement to affirm the birth of your babies as the highest gift there is? Let them be brought forth in the joy and ecstasy of your fullness: ‘In joy all babies are born and in that joy we live.’ I am your Mother Earth. Hear Me.”

Excerpted from Sacred Birthing: Birthing A New Humanity by Sunni Karll page 136

Thirty one and twenty seven years ago, I gave birth to my 2 daughters in pain-free ecstasy. I had no idea then that what I had experienced was out of the norm for women of my culture. I only found that out after I began teaching HypnoBirthing Childbirth Education Classes years later. The birth research path this took me on revealed all too well how disconnected to themselves, nature and birth my sisters have become. For the past 10 years, I have taught childbirth preparation classes, first HypnoBirthing and now Sacred Birthing classes. In this time, I have seen the reversal of the belief that birth equals trauma and pain. Over and over, parents or individual women have reclaimed their innate birthright to birth with ease and empowerment. Many films now testify of this new trend as we watch couples and women, surrounded by other wise, loving, and supportive women, family and friends, give birth in the quiet of their own homes, in birthing centers and in hospitals. These births show the beauty and power and sanctity of birth as it always was before fear entered the birth arena hundreds of years ago.

A key element of a sacred birth without trauma and with greater ease is a woman or couple taking conscious responsibility for their birth experience. What does that mean? Ideally that means a couple go into conception, pregnancy and birth prepared for the transformation that childbirth is for all involved. The couple clear themselves energetically of fear, cultural misconceptions, personal traumas and negative imprinting that may have been held in mind or body. This allows the energy within them to flow clearly and at a vibrational level aligned with that of the soul wishing to incarnate into this life. The process of clearing the past is a huge gift to both baby and birthing mother because negativity held in the body is a fear resonance that constricts muscles and the flow of energy, blood and oxygen in the body which can all contribute to the creation complications and pain during the birth process.

Going into conception, pregnancy and birth being aware and practiced in healthful eating, physical fitness, meditation and other relaxation and self-realization aspects of life are also indicators of taking responsibility for conscious living and play their parts in creating an attuned, gentle birth.

Couples taking responsibility for their birth experience will also explore their birth choices around what practitioner, midwife, support persons and childbirth preparation classes best support their birthing vision. They will also explore where they will feel most comfortable giving birth: home, birth center or hospital. These steps take one to clarity, empowerment, confidence, and trust. Trust and love are the vibrations within the birth field of energy that engenders a truly natural and gentle birth experience.

The re-emergence of the role of Doula is a wonderful sign that our remembrance of birth is on the rise. A Doula is a trained birth assistant who reminds us of the community or village wise woman. Her place in birth is as mother/family focused pregnancy support, birth support and postpartum support. Doulas are there when questions arise about or during the birth process They are there when mothers or partners get anxious, or when something needs to be communicated to hospital, midwife or birth center staff, allowing the birthing mother to stay in her birth bubble undisturbed They can organize the family and friends of the birthing couple to have meals brought to the family, or errands run, or laundry cleaned after birth. Statistics show that the presence of a doula greatly reduces the rates of interventions and cesarean births. When a woman feels that level of personal support, her sense of empowerment rises greatly

Long, long ago, during the times when fear entered the birth chambers, midwifery was abolished. During the European inquisition, it became illegal for women to be attended in birth. Those, whose lives were centered on this ancient art, were either killed or went into hiding or disclaimed their professions. There is much to this story, but suffice it to say, it is still very difficult in most parts of this country, to be a midwife. There are more and more women stepping up to do this work, but with no support from community or state, it is still the rarity for women to have true information on the benefits of such support, and it is difficult for these services to be affordable for many families.

Looking to the midwifery model of childbirth is key to remembering and creating conscious, gentle birth. The rapport that comes from the deep relationship of family and birth care-provider makes a huge difference in a woman’s capacity to trust herself and birthing. Studying the difference between the medical model and the midwifery model, including the statistics, is an eye-opening way of preparing and empowering oneself in making the decisions that support the vision of the beauty of natural birth. This is not to negate the place of Doctors, medicine or hospitals in childbirth. They are important and have their place in the whole scheme of birth. There is simply work needing to be done to bring balance, truth, ease, empowerment, nature, ecstasy and sanctity back to birth in all arenas.

I have seen how the remembrance of birthing wisdom in a community can change the consciousness around birth all the way to the highly technical halls of modern hospitals. As women and families empower themselves to learn about birth, clear the misconceptions and fears around birth within themselves and their world and then insist on a different, more conscious and gentle way, the institutions shift as well. Sometimes that shift comes from the economics of watching women stay at home or go elsewhere to birth. In other instances, the shift comes when care providers witness empowered women or couples give birth gently and naturally. In many countries in the world, such as the Netherlands, Sweden and Norway, the great majority of births are accompanied by a midwife and happen in the comfort, safety and sanctity of the home, and this way is entirely supported by their political and economic structures. I very much look forward to the day when we can say the same about our United States. Again, this is up to individuals to step up and take responsibility for changing the face of birth.

There are many wonderful ways to create the inner and outer ambiance that allow for gentle birth. When we trust in our bodies and own inner wisdom, we find the birthing way that is true for us. It is important to allow for the individual qualities of each birth. This means to allow each birth to unfold in its own timing and form and allowing baby to lead the way in this regard. Birth has never been and never will be standardized. There are so many aspects of being that are unfolding in every birthing. To alter, add or subtract anything from the natural flow of each birth is to bring an intervention that can cause complications. Frequently the alterations come from a place of believing that we know better than Nature and Spirit how birth should unfold.

When birth happens with some or all of the pieces above mentioned in place, a woman can more easily let go to her birthing body. She may experience pain and she may not. In either case, she has within her the power to meet what comes and in so doing, finds new and expanded aspects of herself born with her baby. We are on the bridge of reclaiming birth. It is a powerful and vital place we stand. But every woman’s body knows how to birth as has every woman before her throughout time. Just like the other creatures of nature that birth without trauma, surrendered to the powerful life force pulsing through them, women everywhere have this innate ability.

Those who have looked deeply into the modernization of birth and the fear and expectations of pain around birth that has become prevalent in our society, can see how we create complications. The babies being birthed and hurt through these practices are teaching us not that we as women are innately flawed, but that we have forgotten our innate wholeness and connection to our bodies. These babies are pointing the way home to remembrance.

Ginger & Lilly Dawn’s Birth Experience

11/2/09 Tonight Ginger noticed a lot more moisture coming from her vagina, wetting her pants. After needing to change her clothes twice, she put on a pad. On the toilet, she saw some tan-ish mucous. She also felt some new discomfort in her lower back and pelvis. It didn’t take us too long to clue into that either her water had broken or her mucous plug had released or both.

Full Moon 11/3/09, 12:30am Ginger came to tell me her labor had begun. I moved into Lily’s room to be closer while Ginger experienced the acceleration of her surges. Partner Colin slept but there was not sleep for Ginger or me. Midwife Ruth told Ginger to meet her at 5am based on Ginger’s surge timing and intensity.

5am: Colin, Ginger and I go to the Birth Center. Ginger’s step-dad Steve was there to meet us. Midwife Ruth checked and found Ginger only 80% effaced with nearly no dilation. Her cervix was still facing more towards her back and baby was posterior. Ruth sent us all home (30 minutes away) Ginger was somewhat disappointed but meeting it.

8:25 am Surges were approximately 1 minute 15 seconds in duration and 4 ¾ minutes apart. Midwife Ruth was called, a message was left. She called back shortly and said we could come to the center if we wanted. The Center’s Clinic was opening around then so Ruth would be there. The ride was really hard for Ginger. She started the ride lying in my lap but the Honda was small and she couldn’t stretch out so soon she was sitting up.

We arrived at the Birth Center around 9am. Upon checking Ging’, Ruth told her she was only 3cm and that she couldn’t officially admit her. She said that since the clinic was now open, Ginger could choose to stay but at the close of clinic at 2 pm, she would have to leave if she wasn’t progressed enough. Ginger chose to stay but Steve went and got a hotel room in case Ging’ would need to leave and so she wouldn’t have to travel far again.

Ginger chose to get into the shower first. When she got out and a surge would come on, she got onto her hands and knees. She then labored on the bed for a while in the lateral or side position. She had chosen to bring some music that I gave to her when she was a baby and that she listened to at bedtime all through her growing up. “Fairy Ring” was the background music for this beautiful birthing. Jackie came in after a while and told Ginger she should get up and walk. I had said the same thing but I could see that coming from Jackie had more clout. Ginger went outside on that beautiful Fall day and walked the rolling lawns around the birth center. It was a lovely area with lots of trees. One huge Oak that overhung the Center was the perfect guardian as it looked to me like the “tree of life” image of the placenta. Ginger and Colin went outside and walked and labored together. Ginger either hung on Colin or went to her knees when a surge came on. They were outside for about a half hour. They were so beautiful to watch! Steve and I held back taking pictures.

Back inside, Ginger had on one of Colin’s COD shirts (all the men on his father’s side of the family had initials COD). She lay on the bed again and labored for a couple of hours. At some point during this time, Ginger required someone; Colin or me, to lay a hand on a particular spot on her lower back as soon as she felt a surge coming on. She could have no pressure but needed the hand on a very specific spot, just lightly but perfectly placed. Ginger’s labor was hard and pretty painful but she kept her focus and labored really well. She toned through many surges and when tensing, was responsive to mine or Colin’s light touchmassage and reminders to relax.

Grandpa Steve was on camera duty throughout the labor; both video and stills.

Around 12:45pm. I looked at Ginger and saw her energy flattening out, the skin below her eyes turning dark and something in me spoke loud and clear “if Ginger isn’t going to have to leave, she’s got to rally and put all her power, body and intention into bringing Lily into position, opening her cervix and moving Lily down. I had suggested she change positions several time before, but Ginger had not been responsive to my suggestions. I felt a familiar inhibition in speaking with authority to Ginger; a life-time dynamic between us. This time, I stepped over that pattern and put clarity and power behind my words; telling her exactly what I was seeing and what she needed to do. Ginger heard me and responded. She got up, went into the other room and tried numerous positions for turning Lily, creating space and using gravity so that Lily could move down.

About 30 minutes into this, Ruth came in to check on Ginger. She asked Ginger what she was experiencing and from Ruth’s words, it seemed that she thought Ginger was not progressing that much. Ruth spoke again about the possibility of needing to leave. She watched Ginger through several surges and at one point asked Ginger if she was feeling some bearing down sensation in her surges. Ginger wasn’t sure.

Ruth left, going back into the clinic portion of the center. Ginger continued to labor. The position that worked best for her through most of this time was on her hands and knees; still with a hand needed on her lower back.

Just before 2pm, Ginger told me she felt Lily was coming and asked me to go get Ruth. I went into the center where Ruth was standing talking with Jackie. When she saw me, she said she’d be there in a moment. When she came in, she checked Ginger and was surprised to find Ginger over 8 cm. open.

Things started to happen fast then. Jackie came and joined us. When a surge came on then, they looked like huge waves; Ginger’s eyes got really big. Ruth instructed her to take a deep breath and exhale by blowing slowly out. It was clear; Ruth wanted to slow things down. She asked Ginger whether she still wanted a water birth as the tub would need to be filled, the water pressure was low and it would take a good half hour for the tub to be filled enough for her to get in. Ginger said yes, she wanted the tub. As they filled the tub, Ginger’s surges got bigger and she began to vomit with most of them. It was a very intense time! A couple of times, the bigness of the waves swept her up and she’d yell. Ruth and Jackie brought her back to blowing and she kept her focus. Amazing to watch her!

Finally the tub was ready and when Ginger got in, she felt more comfortable. (How nice it would have been for her to have gotten into the water a couple of hours earlier!) The next couple of surges went as they had on the bed; deep breath in with blowing exhale. Then Ruth gave Ginger the cue to go for it and push Lily out; to push only when she felt a surge and then push hard. Colin got into the water with Ginger and sat behind holding her for this time of pushing. Ginger followed her midwife and doula’s lead to push rather than the HypnoBirthing way of breathing her baby down and out. She pushed well.

We watched Lily crown in the step fashion; a little forward and than moving back; each time moving forward and out a little more. Ginger reached down twice and felt Lily’s head. That brought on such a wonderful smile to her face. This pushing phase only lasted about 15 minutes before Lily was born. We saw she had a good head of light colored hair. She had some cord around her neck that she rolled out of in the water. She was pretty quickly put onto Ginger’s chest and her nose and throat were suctioned with a bulb syringe. Ruth didn’t want the placenta to be born in the water and got Ginger out of the water pretty quickly; less that 5 minutes after the birth. Ginger was compliant and got out and back onto the bed. Mommy and Daddy and all of us were so very happy! And Lily was doing really well. She did squawk with the suctioning but settled down well. She was very present and quiet; taking in her new world, especially her Mom and Dad. She had a lot of thick vernix on her skin and a little bit of merconium had been seen at the birth but no problems arose. She has beautiful red hair!

Ruth waited what I would consider an extremely minimal time before having Colin cut the cord. She said the pulsing had stopped and Lily showed no reaction to the cutting. She breathed well right from the start.

With the help of Colin stimulating Ginger’s nipple, the placenta was birthed shortly after the cord was cut (maybe 10 minutes after) and was in perfect shape.

Lily latched on well after about a half hour of birth. Nurse Bethany helped Ginger with the latching and positioning.

Everyone was high and happy and Lily was alert and peaceful.
Ginger and partner Colin with newborn Lilly Dawn
We left the Birth Center around 5:15 pm. The car seat we had was not set up right and really was imperfect for a newborn. Colin did his best to secure the seat which satisfied the Birth Center Folks. Our plan had always been to leave the Birth Center with Lily in the seat for the sake of the birth center folks and then take Lily out of it around the corner so Ginger could hold her for the ride home. This is what we did.

My brother Doug just happened to be in Sacramento that day. In fact, before the birth, we had scheduled to get together with him the following day. He called while we were still at the Birth Center to tell us he wouldn’t be able to see us the next day and it needed to be that day. I informed him that Lily had just been born. He was astounded at the timing and so happy! He is one of Ginger’s favorite people and so he was privileged to be invited to meet us at the house to meet Lily Dawn.

At the house, Colin’s Brother Cliff and Dad Cliff Senior were waiting to meet Lily. Uncle Doug came shortly thereafter and everyone was high in the birth bubble energy. The Cliffs went out to dinner and a movie and Doug stayed for a nice long visit. He and I then went out for dinner and to bring food home to the new Mom and Dad. The new little family was all sound asleep by the time we returned.

NOTE: It was clearly the best option to birth at the Birth Center; all things considered. Though Ginger would have liked to have had a home birth, Colin was not familiar or comfortable with that idea. Also, The Birth Center took MediCal, so that was a great plus. All went well. The main thing we would have liked different is the midwife being more connected to the labor. Her judgment about Ginger not progressing wasn’t accurate and if it weren’t for me and Steve and Colin being there to hold the energy, it would have been much more challenging for Ginger. It certainly reflects how important and beneficial it is to have a doula and a loving and attuned birth companion present at a birth. Bottom line ~ it was a wonderful birth! Thanks to all. Well done new Momma!